i decided to start anew.

all over again.

forget about all the sadness and unhappiness.

and just not care about anything.

act blur live longer - my motto!

alot of things is not for us to be so stubborn about.

if its going to happen then it will happen.

ifs its not den why bother to do so much cos it will only portray myself as someone who doesnt haven integrity.

right now, i just wanna concentrate on my studies, work and future career building.

other things can wait.

cos if im not on your first of the list den you are not going to be mine as well.

i learn this logic from a very special friend of mine.

whatever i receive from you, im going to give you back the same as well.

:)

would you be there if i needed you?

would you at least look at me if i walked past you?

would you still think of me once in awhile when you go to places or do things that we did together?

would you remember all my diet habits when i do remember yours?

would you still bother to at least say hi to me?

would you remember that i once appear in your life?

i only want the chance to walk beside you once again.

but it seems like i have gave the chance away with my both hands.

and i will never get it back again.

its the frustrating feeling that im having that makes me freaking DULAN!

if you are taking me for granted den dont deny.

if you are just using me to take up or waste ur time cos u simply have too much time den fuck off.

i dont need a friend like you in my life.

its sad that when you are fucking sad,

there is no one for you to turn to at all. no one..

有人对我说过，如果伤口痛的太厲害，

只要用力呼气就不会那么痛，骗人的。

你们不要我，是我无法逼自己改变。

同时也是因为我的固执，

而在自己的身上留下了一个又一个的伤痛。

每晚，每一个晚上都会痛醒我。

太累了，我真的无法再痛下去，

我只是天地之间的一粒尘埃。我的痛何足挂齿呢？

I shall not ponder upon the past which will boil me n fume me.
I'm not going to bring it over to the future becos it will hold me back from a victorious life.
Give thanks for these set backs.

I know the only thing constant is changes.
But i really dont understand how human beings can change so fast from a kindhearted human to a sneaky person.
Provided that the kindhearted humans i have seen is FAKE.
Then i have nothing to say.
They can promise you heaven and sky when u are good with them.
They can say that our friendship would never change no matter whether you are with him anot.
But.. No matter how hard i try aftermath, its still futile.

Alot of times, im disappointed in human beings like how you guys are disappointed in me. maybe..
I dont need anyone to approve of what i am doing neither, do i need someone to gossip to other ppl about what i am doing either.
If you have better things to do then concentrate on your own things and do it good before you have the ability to gossips.
Leave me ouuta your conversations.
I dont need anymore advertising. THANKS!

ps: i'll be mixing post about real life and emo posts to balance out the blog. LOL. so not to give human beings chance to think that im a lowly life who only know how to emo. but actually i dont give a damn! i'll do whatever i deem like. you dont like? dont read den. :)

just came back from a mahjong session!

OMG!! damn shag and tired la.

and the result of this tiredness is that i only lost $1.

like WTF?! okay. maybe im abit pro. abit only ah!

AND btw, seem like people like to read my emo posts wor.

Maybe i should post more to let them comment

Or maybe i should post more of my happy post to let them know im living quite well alone now without their sacastism.

HMMM...

i think i deserve to be all alone myself to avoid those sacastism and ignorance of the human beings around.

ps: if you dontknow what going on in my life or how contented i am being myself den stop trying

to console me in msn. i dont need your sympathy or sacarstic remarks to make my life happier.

psps: if you are my friends den dont speak a words cos i would be heartbroken, if you are not my friends i think you shouldn't even speak cos i cannot be bothered with you.

FML.
leave me alone for awhile or maybe even longer.
its me who makes things end up this way.
there no one i can blame except for myself.
its karma.

have you ever felt so sad and cried so much that you feel like vomitting

have you ever felt so sad that you stop everything you are doing and stare at blank space

have you ever felt that your heart ache so much that you barely could breathe

dying.

天忽冷忽热,

城市宁静而喧哗,

然而我的心是孤独的.

最近的日子我得一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗?

没有你, 每到夜里回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗?

是不是也在思念里挣扎
忙碌吗?累吗?心还会痛吗?
如果真的不得已经忘了我,
那你就向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
你给的问候比陌生人还尴尬

这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下
问自己习惯了吗?

adapted from 你最近还好吗 by S.H.E

ps: no new photos taken recently cos been thinking about alot of stuffs. so no mood. period.

was browsing thru the net last night.

and saw this couple of portraits photos taken by some photographer.

im seriously sorry that i dont remember the photographer name.

but i had always like portraits and scenery photos.

i feel that taking portraits is the most difficult

because we have to capture the object expressions at the right moment so that those whoever is looking at the photos will feel the exact expressions.

im still into photography at the moment but im lousy. LOL.

i wonder why kaka didi sing song must last fingers stick out de?!

maybe make him sing nicer or what? LOL.

ELF and me!

this pic of me is so so so like some small girls taking from a high angle la.

lemme assure you guys im not okay?!

just posted this pic for the fun and laughter of it.

i think im dying from the stress of schools and family.

that i just need nobody but myself.

and i trust nobody including myself too.

i just feel that i shld put my attention to whatever is worth it but i cant find something or someone who is worth it.

its the first time in my life, i feel like sleeping my day away.

i always regards sleeping as waste of time.

but now, i just wanna hide in my blanket and cry out loud and maybe scream or something.

the level of stress and emotions is suffocating.

i dont meant to post sucha emotional post but den again, its my blog.

so yeah. peace all~

just watched hannah montana online.
i know im slow guys. but i just wanna note down how i felt about this show.
its an inspiring show.
its true that you cant get the best outta of both worlds.
life is never smooth.
you just have to get over the bed of roses

the struggle of life.

the chances that life has given you but you either missed it or ignore it.

the wrong decisions. the lies.

it all happen to me before thay why its touches my heart.

like miley, hannah used to be her darkest secrets.

for me, my darkest secrets would be my past.

its not i dont wanna share, its im afraid of losing everything, like how miley is afraid of losing her chances of singing if she would admit.

i admire miley courage for doing things she deem right.

but as for me, im never confident in myself.

i dont know whether the decision i made was right.

i dont even trust myself.

but when you realise that everyone supports whatever decision you made and are all around you.

its just make the world seems better.

i had always like to hear the song the climb - miley cyrus.
plainly because i like the rhythm and lyrics.
but not much feel for it until i watch this movie and get what the songs is trying to protray.

the songs now officially gave me courage to take each day in stride and cherish every single things and person that appear in my life. :)

the wedding cake for the newlywed. how sweet right?

very princessy feel. i like.

the chairs for the newlyweds. looks pretty hor.

wonder why chinese wedding not so glam and cosy.. hmmm..

the newlyweds (fauzilah and salleh) cutting the cakes.

so pretty and glam they are lo.

and they are emitting a kind of happiness that is contagious to everyone.

after the wedding dinner, i went to galare and had waffle icecream.

pardon for the half eaten waffle pic cos i only took the pic when i realise the waffle is super addictive and nice!